Showing posts from September, 2017

Pets: Pros and Cons

I have four cats, though it can currently be considered that I have eight cats. My roommate has four and my four obviously still live with us, so there we go: eight cats and me, often home alone because my roommate has a swinging social life and I’m ugly. The upside to cats is that, regardless of what people say about them, you can get some real loving, snuggly cats who notice when you feel bad and want to make things better.

If you want a cat like this, the best path is to go to a shelter and specifically ask for a cat who’s over age five. Cats are basically adults once they hit five and that’s when they start to get snuggly and lovey. My oldest girl cat wanted nothing to do with cuddles or love until she hit about six and then she couldn’t get enough. She wanted to be in my face at all times, she loved giving kisses (bashing her face against mine) and, oddly, loved to be spanked.

I don’t think it means the same to me as it did to her, but she still seemed happy to have the sides of…

Coming Soon! DPPNW #2.5: Murmur

Finn and Veruca are back! Coming September 28, you can pick up a little Romance on the Go story about a road trip gone wrong, and catch up with them before their third and final book comes out (most likely early next year; I'm plugging away at it now).

What sorts of shenanigans could Finn possibly get up to on a simple road trip, you ask? Plenty, I answer!

It was just like Finn to turn a romantic trip into a hostage situation.Veruca had intended to enjoy a fun weekend full of bawdy banter and spontaneous sex with her hot boyfriend. Now she’s racing to track down a bunch of housewives, stop them from sacrificing her man, and hopefully make nice with a demon.Finn knows something up, even though the women who nabbed him, stripped him, and tied him to a tree don’t seem to be all that bad. There’s nothing wrong with being naked and surrounded by ladies, not as far as Finn’s concerned. Still, the masks, robes, and secret forest rendezvous seem a little suspicious.It’ll work out in …

Drinking Alone

I quite enjoy drinking alone, if only because I don’t know any better. I’ve had a few drinks while out and about, but mostly I like to get sloppy by myself in my kitchen with music blasting or with some stupid TV show on. I like to put on a ridiculous movie and drink until I can’t tell what’s going on and barely remember having watched it in the morning.

I’m usually a good drunk, which not everyone can say. I get giggly and silly when I’m drunk. I argue with my cats and get vexed by my tortilla press and complain about the neighbors to no one in particular. I’ve worked the graveyard shift at a hotel for most of the last fifteen years, though, and I can definitely attest to the fact that not everyone is a good drunk. I’ve been berated, threatened, and irritated by drunks. I’ve had to save people from dying of alcohol poisoning and divert other people from vomiting onto the floor. I’ve had to clean up after people have missed the trash can or not made it to their hotel rooms. There are …

So your friends have abandoned you (to have sex with other people)

Life alone means life revolves around what you want, what makes you happy. Granted, there’s going to be a steep learning curve to find what makes us happy, because most happiness presented by society involves a partner.

You can be crafty, you can be caring, you can be cultured. Make things and sell them online, donate your time to a charity that really tugs at your heartstrings, learn all that weird shit you’ve seen in old movies, like what fork is the salad fork and how to walk naturally with a stack of books on your head. There are lots of things to learn for free on the internet, and many of them can be learned with podcasts, which can be heard while you're being productive. Clean your house, organize your junk drawer, go for a long walk or a jog to keep yourself healthy so you don’t fall apart at age 45, and listen to podcasts, audiobooks, Ted talks, anything that will keep your brain busy.

If you have friends who haven't wandered off to be with someone who doesn't loo…

Motivational Quotes are Bullshit

We’ve all seen those quotes tossed around on Facebook or Tumblr or Twitter, those insufferable images made up of some vague and blurry, sepia background image with elegant text over the top.

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”“Get it, girl!”“She believed the could, so she did!”“You are beautiful.”“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”“Stay positive!”“Be the girl who’s in love with her own life!”
Don’t they just make you want to vomit? They’re so clearly aimed at other people, people who have a chance at all the things you don’t. Girls who can wear a messy up-do and sweat pants to Starbucks and still get flirted with by the barista. Women who go to bars with friends and end up getting most of their drinks free from admirers. Boys who get, ‘Do you like me?’ notes slipped to them in class. Men who have the luxury of complaining about all the messages they get on OKCupid and how over half of them are from women they’re “just not that into.”

Meanwhile, you…