So your friends have abandoned you (to have sex with other people)

Life alone means life revolves around what you want, what makes you happy. Granted, there’s going to be a steep learning curve to find what makes us happy, because most happiness presented by society involves a partner.

The Forgotten II by Jessica Lipki
The Forgotton II by Jessica Lipki [x]

You can be crafty, you can be caring, you can be cultured. Make things and sell them online, donate your time to a charity that really tugs at your heartstrings, learn all that weird shit you’ve seen in old movies, like what fork is the salad fork and how to walk naturally with a stack of books on your head. There are lots of things to learn for free on the internet, and many of them can be learned with podcasts, which can be heard while you're being productive. Clean your house, organize your junk drawer, go for a long walk or a jog to keep yourself healthy so you don’t fall apart at age 45, and listen to podcasts, audiobooks, Ted talks, anything that will keep your brain busy.

If you have friends who haven't wandered off to be with someone who doesn't look like a half-smashed plastic milk jug, make an effort to spend some time wth them. Friends can be especially valuable to an ugly person. We don’t have the benefit of a partner, but as humans we do still need some sort of connection and companionship. Think of yourself as a Sim whose Social bar is going to dip into the red every so often. If you’ve never really had friends, you may have to improvise when you’re feeling lonely, but I believe in you!

Ah, shit, now I sound like one of those stupid graphics your grandma posted to your Facebook wall.

What happens if you do have friends and they have left you to go be with attractive people, though? What do you do when the one or two people you really rely on for companionship have found someone who’s better than you in every way? That’s when things get really tough and when you have to make creative life decisions. When you can’t fill up your Sim social bar, you’re going to be left with no choice but to try to overcompensate in all the other areas of your life.

Check that list of goals you made and see what you can conceivably work on that will hopefully take your mind off thinking about how alone you truly are. Download a meditation app and see if you can put yourself into one of those lucid-dream states where you can make yourself think you’re a warrior in medieval France or a space alien rescuing a whole planet from the ill aims of a destructive overlord.

Do you like music? Listen to it, loudly and often while you work on these other parts of your life. Take on extra tasks at your job, vow to achieve the Couch-to-5k goal, teach your five cats tricks. Spend time in nature, learn a dead language, clean your house, repair all the holes you’ve got in your socks, deep-clean your car, take a road trip to a nearby place you’ve never been.

Attractive people have everything easier in life because humans are more inclined to give things to people they like looking at, but that just makes it all the more satisfying for you when you achieve something. You had to work harder at it and probably do it all alone, dammit! You deserve a medal! One awarded to you in secret, where no one had to see you while your rumpled face crinkled up in teary gratitude.

You’ll never truly be able to get over being ugly (well, maybe if you choose to make your life about earning money and you use that money to get millions of dollars of plastic surgery, but that’s not as practical as reading a book on how to fix a carburetor), but there are plenty of things in the world you can do to distract yourself from the crushing depression that comes with being frequently reminded that you’ll never be loved and that most people get physically ill at the idea of being intimate with you.

I mean, come on, why do you think I wrote all this?


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