Showing posts from October, 2015

Fantasy Halloween Bash 5: Trick and Treat!

I tricked you! There is no more party planning! I mean, the party's over. We finally got everyone in cabs and on their way home, the cat didn't die of fishnet poisoning, and you managed to give that sleazy bat Craig's credit card number instead of your own.

Everything's worked out for the best, and just in time, too! You're down to only a few droplets left of Ghost Pee.

The good news, however, is that I'm still here with some treats: images to really get you into the Halloween spirit! You've probably lost a little bit of your spirit (if not your will to live) after listening to Chet's nonsensical attempts at a Polish accent, but I'm here to help.

Before we get to the help part, I'd like to ask anyone who likes sweets, anyone who appreciates a people who cater to allergies, anyone who has any extra money, anyone who wants to help out nice people and small business, and anyone who just feels like doing a good deed to check out a Kickstarter!

My f…

Fantasy Halloween Bash: Part 4 - Party!

Craig's sexy couch costume is falling apart, Polly's trying to feed her fishnet stalkings to the cat (who won't cop to being the one responsible for the rips in Craig's costume), and Chet's moved from Welsh to Turkish in what he's calling his "Accent Bonanza." You need to get some food into these people before the cat chokes on cheap polyester.
Really, any food. You could probably feed them stuffing from Chet's sexy President Taft costume and it would help soak up the alcohol and maybe get Craig to stop crying and trying to call his ex in Antarctica. To keep yourself safe from lawsuits, though, I've compiled some food that won't choke your guests into unconsciousness.
Though, we all know some of them deserve it. DELORIS.
Party food!

Fruit's a good, healthy snack, easy to throw together (or throw at Polly if she starts heading toward the cat again), and has the bonus of being made of sugar. Halloween is all about sugar! And terrible par…

Fantasy Halloween Bash: Part 3 - Cocktails

Yeah, now I've got your attention, haven't I? You weren't even reading the other posts. You didn't EVEN SEE the digs at your mom that I slipped in there. You sicken me. Your mother deserves what I said about her for having you.

Luckily, we can both get drunk and forget about this embarrassing interaction.

As we established in the last two posts, all your friends are idiots, Craig's a creep, Deloris won't shut up about Johnathan Taylor Thomas, and you keep getting spam emails from a bat pretending to be a human who wants to sell you tax software.

This party is a mess.

I mean, you look great, your house is all decked out, and that bat is offering a really good deal on Tax Executive: Executive of Taxes, but you're still going to need to get sheet-faced to really enjoy yourself. Grab a flask, fill it to the brim with your favorite booze, keep it on your person, and let liquid courage guide you through every one of Deloris' weird dream stories wher…

Fantasy Halloween Bash: Part 2 - Fashion

Now that the house is set up, and you've remembered to invite your (hopefully not racist)friends, you've got to think about what YOU'RE going to look like for the party. If you're a dude who doesn't cross-dress you can probably just ingest these suggestions to suggest to your lady friends at a later date. I'm a lady and so this will be lady stuff.
I have a love/meh relationship with Halloween fashion. I really love it and want to buy all the cute dresses I can find that fit the holiday, but they're not really practical since you can only wear them once or twice a year. Thus, the meh.
You could of course adopt the persona of crazy Halloween lady and dress in bats, cats, Jack o'lanterns, ghosts, witches, and Frankensteins (shut up; I know it's the doctor's name) all year round.

That comes with its own difficulties and responsibilities, though. Once you've had yourself declared crazy Halloween lady (it's like Knighthood, I think; yo…

Fantasy Halloween Bash: Part 1 - Decorations

I really love Halloween and will one day host a great party where people can show up in costume and we eat spooky food and have Monster Mash (the one by Bobby "Boris" Pickett! No substitutions!) playing in the background. Probably not on a loop, but people don't notice music at parties if it's not really loud, so maybe!

I've got a Pinterest board full of spooky pictures and ideas and I've curated (that's fancy for "grabbed some and slapped them here) some pins that I think would make for a great party. This week will be party post week, woo!

Before people even come into the house, they should be thinking HALLOWEEN PARTY! Since mind control hasn't been invented yet (that we know of!) we've got to get the idea into their heads in a less invasive manner. Making the outside of your house look festive is a must.

Ring your window with orange mini-lights and cut out or buy some silhouettes to put up against the backdrop of curtains or bli…

Halloween Laughing Vixen Lounge October Giveaway!

Halloween is NEXT WEEK! One of my most ridiculous* wishes is to host a really fun halloween party with cute favors and hanging bats, and spooky hors d'oeuvres. Speaking of, isn't it nuts that we just USE this incredibly obvious French word all willy nilly? I know English is generally just a mishmash of all sorts of words that we've just adopted, but we haven't even made it "orderves" or anything. We've just kept the French spelling like, "ah, the hell with it. We can eat it, we don't need to spell it."
I digress.
Back to Halloween. I really hampered myself this year by deciding to challenge my willpower and go sugar-free for the month of October. Usually this month I bake everything pumpkin, make my own pumpkin spice coffee syrup, eat lots of tasty, autumn crap, and feel that's the best way to get into the spirit of Halloween since throwing a party doesn't seem within my grasp. I have a varied group of friends who don't know eac…

Guest author interview + Book release announcement!

Since I interview cats and they don't contribute anything to society (nothing, I tell you! They're all hairballs and complaining!), I figured maybe I should branch out and talk to someone who actually works on making things people will like (no one likes hairballs, Lump. NO ONE).
So, I've asked Lea Bronsen, who just so happens to be promoting her new book (more on that in a bit!) if she'd be willing to stop by the blog and submit to the same hard-hitting journalism the cats have been forced to endure. Enjoy!
O.R.B: Hi Lea, welcome to the blog! Let's get straight to the nitty gritty.
The vanilla vs. chocolate debate is one that's been raging for centuries. I'm sure even Aristotle and Cleopatra were getting into heated internet debates in unrelated comment sections over which was a better base for an ice cream sundae. Why, you can barely walk into an ice cream shop or order soft swirl without having to duck a flying fist. If you could go back or forward in time …